1. Kindle, inside a cheap neoprene case from eBay. Never thought I would be into this gadget, but you know, I am. When there are lights on. It’s not back-lit. It’s so old school! 2. A notebook that I’ve mostly been using as a mousepad. 3. The February issue of Elle. As you can see, I am way more interested in what Karlie Kloss is selling (Dior) than what the cover girl Katie Holmes isn’t anymore selling (The Kennedys). 4. A blue Rimmel eyeshadow quad. How might one go into a drugstore and buy a million makeup items and be charged around $20 at the end of it? Buy all Rimmel. See also: the Rimmel Stay Matte foundation over to the right, which I forgot to label. Excellent, cheap, and oil-free! 5. A Clinique eyeshadow with perhaps some splatters of toothpaste on it. This eyeshadow was actually free with my mother’s purchase of an expensive Clinique cream for my sister. That’s just how it is in my family. That’s just how it is. 6. A wonderful Topshop lipstick in a shade called Rio Rio, which is slightly more orange than the red notebook pictured. A rare treat, yet it’s always in here. 7. Dog kibble! 8. A Dynamite Melon-Filled Melon Mint Candy. Not sure if/how this belongs to me. Restaurant? 9. Neostrata wrinkle cream that I bought at a pharmacy in Canada during some kind of windfall. It has Retin-A in it. It’s never too early for Retin-A, I’ve decided. 10. A piece of a pendant that’s supposed to be like a … ranch house? This is just the roof of it. I think the house proper is in a different makeup bag somewhere. 11. My “wallet.” I haven’t had a functioning wallet for years. Don’t care! 12. An expired passport from 1997. My only form of ID right now (besides the real passport, which is too special for that). 13. Random pen, writes decently well. 14. Matches from Bonita, a restaurant in Williamsburg that is no more. 15. Packet of Theraflu. Instant unconscious party. 16. Bose on-ear headphones. Highly recommended! Partly because even if something/someone chews through the cord five times, Bose will keep sending you a replacement. 17. Almay #1 Makeup Remover. This shit is awful, it will leave your face looking like you just spent a day in the sun with Banana Boat tanning oil all over you. (It’s “moisturizing,” which is an evil word.) But it’s all I have right now. 18. Tweezerman tweezers. 19. An iron pill. 20. A pop-up Christmas card from my sister of a cat messing about with a Christmas tree. 21. Something that might be connected to my keys in the future, I haven’t figured out what I want to do there yet. 22. Dorky running sunglasses! How embarrassing. When on, they make me look a lot like this guy.